"She demanded illusions like other women demanded jewels." (Henry Miller)

It was a grandiose dream.
So big, in fact,
that I kept it as small as possible-

Packed it into a concentrated reverie,
without realizing
that nothing could ever change.

And now I have this shadow-dream
that follows me everywhere
but never sees light.

And I am fully aware of it's presence
and obscenely aware
that you are not here.

fool me twice, shame on me.

I never wanted
to fall to pieces over anyone.
But you have me on the ground
beneath myself.